


become my friend again.

by skylerkyriu



Category: Marvel, Thor Marvel, Thor francise, loki marvel
Genre: Alcohol Addiction, Forgiveness, Hatred, Love, Quitting Smoking, Smoking Addiction, Violence, brake-up, heart-breake, quitting drinking, strong laguage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylerkyriu/pseuds/skylerkyriu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's been three years since Loki broke up with you, and you've copped but you've always felt a sting in your heart. so when he comes back, you not exactly happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. step one

**Author's Note:**

> another one-shot, been thinking about it ever since I read this one Loki's Dirty Whispers, whisper. (I do not own anything towards Loki's Dirty Whispers.) thank you, "nor do I won anything to the song 'this is not the end' by: fieldwork.) a thank you.

"*I have never been a kind man, did I not warm you I would end up breaking your heart? even so....I'm sorry it had to happen."*

 

you gave a breathless laugh, "no, no you're not." you said getting your coat and walking to the door. "not as sorry as I am." you said before leaving and slamming the door.

 

\--------------------------------

those were the last words he ever said to you. you tried not to cry. saying it was always going to happen. you even thought he would spy on you, so you kept yourself strong. you didn't cry, not until a month later when you felt alone. your friend who'd lived in the same house as you for four years had moved out to be with her boyfriend. so everything was quiet.

 

so quiet.

 

you kept one of Lokis' shirts when he slept with you in your bed. you laid down crying silently, holding onto the shirt. you remembered how he always had you in his bed, it made you sick. you really were a play thing to him, and nothing more. you even tricked yourself into thinking he had 'some' feelings for you. you realized you were being stupid. he was most likely watching you, laughing at you for your behaviour. or sleeping with some other woman.

 

you got up and threw the shirt in the bin, you held onto the lid breathing trying to control your sadness. _he meant nothing to you, and you meant nothing to him. THAT is a perfect circle._  you thought.

 

you went to work each day putting on a fake smile and saying to the nosy ones, how it was really boring for the both of you and that's why you broke up with Loki. it hurt being reminded you were a toy to him. that smirk, those green eyes, and in his mind just thinking about using you and then leaving you alone in your room. you never even laid your head on his shoulder like real lovers do, he wasn't clingy, and you lied to yourself more thinking he cared for you.

 

 

the two people you worked with William and Sahara were getting married.you were really happy for them, and Sahara asked you to be one of the maids. you were really excited, she asked your opinion on the flowers and dresses for the wedding, the place to be wed, what time. it took your mind off a lot of things. she was going for the traditional white rose, and was going to have purple maid dresses to match the slight purple on her wedding dress.

 

Sahara was going to make William wear a purple tie, and a cloth in his pocket. and the time would be at 2 in the William house. you and Sahara made a few jokes about it being his house because of the name, and that he was rich. when you were at the wedding, you saw William and Sahara walk up the isle, happiest you've ever seen the two of them. they took their vows, gave the rings, and were announced man and wife.

 

and the other brides' maids were waiting for handsome men to ask them to dance....well THEY were. you were just sitting there with them because you knew no one else, and you could blend in with the girls.

 

 

one man came up to you asking if you would like to dance. that look in his eyes, he same look Loki had when he wanted something from you. you froze. you just stared at him a if he was a ghost. "um...okay...dance?" he asked the other girl next to you. she looked at you and then to him giggling and taking his hand.

 

that reminder. Loki always looked like that when he wanted to use you. you were never anything important to him. upset, you left. saying goodbye to the bride and groom. this wedding was supposed to be something to take your mind of things. so this is how it's supposed to be? how it's going to be? men flirting with you? never a girlfriend, just a fling.

 

when you got home everything was quiet again. you were thinking about putting a sign up for a spare room for the house, but you missed your old housemate. you listened to a few songs, going into your mind. you were listening to 'fieldwork: 'this is not the end.' you closed your eyes, picturing yourself falling from the sky slowly, or falling into the ocean. sinking into the black pits of the great blue.

 

you felt calm somehow, picturing yourself falling. "this is not, the end." you sang. you heard a load banging, you thought maybe you were just hearing things. but you took your head phones off anyway, and made your way to the door. you opened it without checking through the window first. you froze once you saw him.

 

Loki.

 

"hello (y/n)." he said.

 

he was wearing his black coat like he did when he acted 'human.'

 

you were still frozen, why was he here?

then your mind kicked in. he got bored again and wanted to see of you were free. "go away." you knew he wouldn't do so, so you left the door open you wanted to see what excuse he had this time. he laughed a little, "I know you're upset but please," he began. you turned to him with a dead stare. "I only wanted did what I did because you were getting to much for me." he said.

 

"wow. talk sweet to me." you said flatly.

 

"no, you were....you were meant to be a plaything." he said.

"oh! I was! was a plaything alright, that disgusting look in your eyes when you wanted sex and nothing more! I tricked myself into thinking that you loved me!" you yelled. you went to the kitchen and got out a beer. you had become a 'slight' alcoholic ever since he dumped you.

 

"and you have every reason to hate me, I didn't want to love you but....somehow you did it. and when you kept your distance from me after our night together I realized you did it for me. you didn't want to displease me." he said. he noticed that?

"no, I didn't do it to please you. I did it because if I did, you would tell me to get off, and then I would think you didn't love me." you said drinking. "it was an illusion I set myself." you said.

 

 

"I didn't want to love you because love equals pray from another looking to harm me, and pray equals weakness....and you know I cannot have a weakness." he said.

 

"so you got rid of me to fucking protect yourself!?!" you yelled. he looked hurt but he did the one thing he never did before, he was telling the truth.

 

"yes." he simply said.

 

you calmed down. returning your voice to it flat tone, and dead stare. you drank from your beer bottle as you sat down on your couch. Loki looked around. he saw the empty wine bottles in on the side of your kitchen counter. and empty beer cans and bottles. he looked shocked, and hurt again.

"I remember you never drinking wine. you said it annoyed you. the acid burning the back of your throat." he said.

"that's why a drank beer." you said flatly taking another sip.

"after the twentieth bottle?" Loki asked sitting down next to you on the couch. you looked at him and scooched away, taking yet another sip.

 

"so why are you here? did another whore of yours leave? did they reject you? or are you bored of them and wanting to see if I might fuck you again?" you asked, wearing a little expression on your face.

 

he was....once again shocked by your language. you never used to swear either. you really had changed. "I came here to see you...." he said you took a sip of your beer bottle and looked to him. "well, now you see me?" you said extending you arms so he could get a good look.

 

"I see what I have done to you." he said in a low voice.

"no, this? this wasn't you. Hahah, don't be silly, this was another man. Puh, yeah like I would move on after what you did to me." you said getting up. you had finished your beer bottle already and was reaching for another one. Loki stood up and walked over to you taking away the beer. you reached out for it. how dare he take another good thing away from you?

 

"give me that back!"

 

"no."

 

"give me my fucking drink back! don't take another thing away from me!" you growled and pushed him away. he almost fell, but he grabbed the kitchen table and clung to it to pull himself up. he looked almost afraid.

"where is my (y/n)?" he asked quietly.

 

"DEAD! dead after you killed her! after you walked away from her because 'you didn't want a weak spot'." you said crying. "you took away what meant most to me...you took away my heart....give it back." you began hitting his chest.

"you're drunk." he said grabbing your arms.

 

you managed to wriggle away. "don't touch me!" you yelled. backing away. still crying.

 

"*I have watched entire civilisations crumble without a care....yet the only thing I regret....is having broken your heart."* he said.

 

you began to cry again, crouching to the floor and covering your face. "please, just go." you sobbed. there was a silence and he walked away.

 

but you couldn't bare to hear those footsteps leaving you forever again. you shot up. what were you doing?

 

"wait!" you screamed. he turned to you. you fell to the floor crying again. "please don't leave me alone again...please." you said that last part in a whisper.

 

he went over to you, and held you. you cried into his shoulder, putting you arms around his neck and clinging to the front of his coat.

 

"please don't leave me again....I'm so scared." you said.

 

"every night I'm scared, Loki" you cried. he held you tighter.

 

you didn't fall asleep, you sobered up after he gave you some water and bread. after you were sick and them came out of the bathroom to see Loki standing near the door. "are you alright now?" he asked. you nodded. "yes." you walked to the couch and checked the time. "it's....3 o clock." you said falling back against the couch.

 

"yes, I know." he stated sitting down on the couch far away from you this time. you looked at him. he looked the same as he did three years ago. short black hair, pale skin, green eyes. "even if I did come back with you, I'm still human....and you're a god." you said. he looked at you and leaned over the couch cupping his hands together. "I have a plan about that." he said.

 

"what were you even doing when I was living MY life?" you asked. he looked like he was trying to come up with an answer.

 

"no, never mind." you said putting your hand up and trying to move. you sat in the same position as him.

 

"I was laying with other women, women who were waiting for the money. or just left my room late at night after our....activities, while I was sleeping." he said.

 

it hurt to know you were right about his sleeping with other women. "I had, had enough." he said.

 

"I had lived the first year living in ignorance, ignoring my feelings for you, and bedding other women. then by the next year I realized I had made a terrible mistake and shooed away the one woman who loved me. who would do anything for me, even if it meant hurting herself. and when I went to check on her she was crying, and holding onto my shirt, and trying her hardest to let me go, by throwing away the only thing she had of me." he said.

 

when you thought he might be watching you, it wasn't your brain secretly saying he was there, it was instinct. "you tried so hard to forget me and move on, so you wouldn't be a burden to me." he said. you stood up. that was enough.

 

"are you here to remind me that you almost killed me? no, that you DID kill me? that you killed part of me, this girl here? she wears the girl you loved skin. she's dead, because she had no one to love her." you said getting to his face.

 

 

"and I plan to resurrect her." Loki said. you laughed a little.

 

shyeah, nice try." you said.

 

he stood up and looked down at you with angry eyes. "*go ahead and argue with me. make up sex will settle all are differences."* he said. there was a glint in his eyes. that same glint he always had when he used you.

 

 

"that really is all you want isn't it? a good fuck." you said. "find some other whore." you said turning and walking.

"YOU WERE NOT A WHORE!" he screamed making you jump. "yes, you were meant to be one, but when you told me you were a virgin and I took you I realized I had something special." he said.

 

"you've taken many virgins!" you yelled.

 

 

"yes, but they threw themselves at me! you....you..."

 

"threw myself at you?" you finished quietly and calmly.

 

 

"yes.....but I liked you, you were no exception for an excuse for me TO like you. but I liked you because you were interesting. your body was another bonus for me, but I spent those next to years eliminating my enemies all so I could bring you back to me side." he said.

 

he extended a hand to you, "I will not bed you unless you wish me to, but at least may I sleep next to you and hold you close?" he asked. he had a sad look about him.

 

"don't play that sad look!"

 

"fine." he said.

 

 

"*I promise you that as soon as I'm allowed, or you figure out who I am I will tell you everything. until then, know I'm yours. I'll be waiting by your side as your best friend until you allow me to be more."* he said.

 

"it'll take time before I allow you to be more." you said.

 

he simply nodded and sat down. "there's a spare room, I'll go get some pillows and sheets." you said walking off.

 

"coming?" you asked him from the stairs. he walked up the stairs and you pointed to the room, as you went to the airing cubbored and took out a sheet. you went to your room and took one of your pillows, you took the biggest and plumpest of your pillows and gave it to Loki. "okay, well...goodnight." you said walking away. Loki undressed himself only leaving his trousers on. you came out of the bathroom and past his room looking through the crack between the door and the wall.

 

his secret muscles moving as he undressed, his pale body, you could still remember how they looked vividly. looked exactly the same as it did three years ago. you stopped as soon as you realized what you had been doing. you blushed and walked away to your room. ignoring the smirk on Loki's hidden face.

 

\----------------------

 

after two years of him living with you and not making a single move on you, you began to trust him. the Loki you knew before would not have waited this long. he would have forced some thought into your mind. instead he helped you with the money problems and even took care you when you were ill once. you even thought about trusting him again. with everything. but as soon as you thought that, another thought poped in.

 

_don't be sucked in by his act. you have to stop this stupid, naïve attitude. he must have been practicing these last two years one being patient. he's using you. playing nice. being your best. good trick. but not good enough._

 

(y/n)? are you alright? you've stopped your work all of a sudden." he noticed. you looked down and saw that the carrots you were chopping were half done and you just rested the knife on the carrot.

 

"yes, everything's fine." you said.

 

_maybe I could get a conversation out of him. try and...figure out what he has planned._

obviously you couldn't just jump into the conversation.

 

"are you being patient just to get me to trust you and then bed me and leave?"

 

_nice job_

 

 

you turned to see him surprised by your words. "I said I would wait until you wanted me to." he said.

 

you chuckled.

 

"and how long will you wait before you give up and leave?.....or force yourself on me." you asked.

 

"I would rather leave you than hurt you, but then again I would rather kill myself than leave you." he said looking away.

"I would wait forever just to kiss your hand, or hold you like I used to." he said.

 

still looking at Loki, amazed by the way he was now, you sliced your finger.

 

"Ahh!" you yelled. Loki jumped up and saw the blood dripping from your finger. "it's nothing really." you said.

 

Loki didn't listen. he got the first aid kit you kept in your cubbored, he rushed over wetting a cloth and wiping your finger. he then put disinfectant on it making it sting.

 

"Ah." you said. quietly.

"sorry."

 

he finally placed a blaster on your finger and hesitated before kissing it. you blushed a little. why?

 

******

 

 

 

later than night Loki cleaned the cut for you again and kissed it. "I wish I could do this for the wounds I caused you when I..."

 

"hurt me?" you finished.

 

"you must know it hurt me too when I said I was done with you." he said.

 

you looked away getting up and leaving for bed. when Loki went to his room his found his bed sheets and pillow gone. he turned to you with worried eyes. "don't worry I'm not kicking you out." you extended a hand to him. "come on." you said. he walked slowly towards you and took your hand.

 

"I love you." he said.

 

"I know..." you said leading him into your room. "we're not doing THAT, if that's what you're thinking. but you can sleep next to me. if you want." you said with a shrug of your shoulders.

 

"I will never reject you and your offers again." he said.

 

you undressed him, staring at his eyes. he had a smirk on his face as he stared back. leaving his trousers on, you looked away from his gaze and went to bed.

 

he climbed in after you. you two faced each other, he made a brave move and placed an arm around your waist holding you close.

 

"we're not doing that." you said annoyed.

 

he smiled "I know." he said closing his eyes.

 

you and him were inches away from each other. you made a move.

 

you kissed him softly, he opened his eyes to see yours closed. he kissed back. holding you with both arms. "(y/n), I though we weren't doing that." he said.

 

"we're not, but we can kiss." you responded pulling away. "if you hurt me again, I'll kill you." you laughed. he kissed you and you held him tighter.

 

"step one." you said with a smile and a sigh.


	2. step two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you've been preparing for Christmas. but when Loki gives you a gift will it ruin your relationship?

it was coming to the end of the third year you've spent with Loki. only a few months ago you allowed him to sleep next to you again. now you were putting up your Christmas decoratiosn around the house. the tree, the tinsel hanging around the pictures in your house, sellotape some to the stairs' banners, twinning some around your shelves and putting together a Christmas candle holder.

 

while you asked Loki to organize the ball-balls, you organized the tinsel and lights. you had a lot more than you thought. then you took out the tree, putting the three pieces together and then putting the branches on. white for A, red for B, yellow for C and white again for D. when the tree was done you told Loki to put the lights on, then the tinsel, then the Christmas ball-balls. after, you two put the chocolates on.

 

it was the first of December. you planned on waiting till after Black Friday to go shopping. getting the cards and gifts for your family, and buying the food when it was closer to Christmas. on Christmas Eve you planned on cleaning the house and yourself so this Christmas was nice and fresh. two pieces of string on the two pieces of different chocolates had come off, so you cut the two in half and shared them with Loki.

 

Loki asked questions about Christmas. you explained that the Americans made it to make more money. and it wasn't actually the Birthday of Christ.

 

 

**********

 

 

it was two weeks after putting up the Christmas tree. you planned on getting a gift for your mother and father, siblings, grandparents, your old housemate and her boyfriend. you were going to get a few for the people at work too. (but mostly just cards). you got cards for your cousins this year (since last year they got you one), and the rest of your family. you wrote them and sent the cards and gifts immediately.

 

that coast you enough.

 

it was one week before Christmas. your old Cooker had broken down so you bought a new one with what little money you had left. (on the plus side you didn't have to clean it this year). you defrosted the Freezer and the Fridge. but not cleaning the Cooker got on your nerves, so you cleaned it anyway. the next day you took down the house curtains and bed sheets, cleaned all the rooms. the day after that you bought the Christmas food, a roast for dinner and a buffet at tea.

 

 

and the day after that you were attending a party at work after the month before, receiving an invitation. you took Loki with you. smiling when he made snide comments on the people at work. there were only two you liked. the rest you just sucked up to, so you could get a better station at work. so that was four days out of six done. (since Christmas was on a Thursday).

 

 

not much happened during the next few days. you went for a drive threw the forest outside your home village, tried to spot some deer but only saw the odd Donkey among the horses and cows. you both took a walk down one of the areas the Forest had to offer. watching out for any wild horses. after you arrived home you listened to some classic songs and moved on to classic Christmas songs.

 

"care for a dance My Lady?" Loki asked offering you his hand. you smiled took up his offer. dancing to: _fairy tail of_ _New York'_. one of your favourite Christmas songs. you explained to Loki your favourite Christmas song was: ' _can you stop the cavalry?'_ enjoying the trumpets and reminder of the War.

 

"it's nice just to sway to the rhythm, instead of properly dancing. on Asgard every feast we had involved dancing elegantly." he commented. you rested your head against his chest. the song came around to Kirsty Macoll. singing about how her dreams were taken away by the man she loved. this lyric did not go unnoticed by Loki.

 

"hmp," he laughed breathlessly. "reminds me of you......I did a lot of cruel things to you. disguised as....as young love." his voice held a melancholy tone to it.

 

"let us not linger in the past, Loki. you're living here BECAUSE we're not." you warned him. you felt him chuckle a little. the feeling of his rumbling chest sent smiles across your face.

 

 

**********

 

 

Loki had been gone for three days now. today was Christmas Eve. you knocked the worry away. with a kitchen, bathroom, AND a living room to clean there're no time worrying about a man you shouldn't have trusted in the first place. when you did the kitchen first you cleaned all the food marks on the floor, fixed the light bulbs, removed some of the items in the cupboards, then you moved on to the living room. and that took even longer.

 

you were cleaning the bathroom. after rearranging the living room, cleaning behind everything. (and I mean, literally everything) you moved to clean the carpeted stairs. but then you forgot to clean the windows and shelves. so you moved back down. but now it was out of the way. the toilet was bleached, the sink downstairs and up was unblocked, you were just doing the bath. and soon all you had left to do was to clean the two shelves, sweep the floor, tidy the shampoo bottles, and tidy the bathing items.

 

*********

 

it was six o clock. you were beginning to regret getting that gift for Loki. thinking he wouldn't show up on Christmas. you sat down over at the dinner table, elbows resting. ever since Loki left you'd been making simple meals. so if he didn't come home it wasn't that much of a waste, and if he did there was food on the table. you shook your head and ate your salad. the Tuna you had added made you realize the taste in it and most foods had lost its quality.

Loki probably got tired of trying to wait for you.

then the door opened. you jumped and almost chocked on your food.

 

Loki.

 

 

"where have you been?!" you asked barking while getting up and standing in front of him. he gave a smile. a smile!

 

"why are you so happy?!" you asked barking at him again.

 

"I've got you a gift and this is what you welcome me with?" he jested.

"I was worried! you'd left me for days! without a word!" you yelled.

"the gift I went for took longer than it was meant to." he replied.

"what the hell gift is it?!" you yelled the question.

"can't tell you that." he said walking to the table and sitting down. "it's not Christmas yet." he smiled while taking a Tomato into his mouth from his Fork. you rolled your eyes and sat down with a _huff_.

 

 

 

"so, you've missed me?" he tried to turn the situation into a joke.

"don't." you say glaring up at from your food.

 

 

*************

 

 

you have a wash before you climb into bed after Loki. you sighed as your back hit the mattress. you see Loki prop himself up on his elbow. running a finger up and down your arm. "I missed you. while I was away." he said. you closed your eyes and hummed in acknowledgement. "where were you?" you asked.

 

"Asgard. had to get something. glad I did." he said smiling and leaning down to kiss your neck and collarbone. and soon after both of you fell asleep.

 

*********

 

 

 

Christmas day. both of you took your time waking up. you both had a quick wash. what was the point of a bath yesterday? after you both had breakfast, opened the cards you gave each other. and then exchanged gifts. the gifts you gave Loki were: a Charles Darwin collection of books, William Shakespeares' complete collection, a Steam Punkish green shirt, and his Helmet. it wasn't his actual helmet, but a replacer. made of Silver and painted Gold. almost the same size. it coast all the money you had left to ask someone to make it. 

 

 

Loki smiled and thanked you for each gift. then his smile vanished. he looked worried. almost scared. he took a breath before continuing.

 

 

"Darling." he said taking another deep breath. "I haven't got you as many gifts. but I hope the meaning to this one will make up to it." he said taking out a wrapped ball. when he handed it to you, you realized the fabric was different. nothing like any clothing material you'd ever seen or known. it must be from Asgard. when you let it fall it revealed a Golden Apple.

 

you looked to him shocked.

 

 

"Darling, I want you to live a lifetime with me."

 

 

 


	3. the apple of her eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won nothing to Sonic the Hedgehog.

"what?" you asked Loki in a hushed voice.

 

Loki new that voice as the voice that led a fight soon to come. so he kept his voice quite in his answer.

 

"I want you to eat the apple of Idunn and live a long life with me." he said keeping still.

 

"are you kidding me? really? this is the gift you give me?" you rise your voice.

 

Loki looked rather confused. of course anyone who feared death would be grateful for this gift. even you. if you had not been gifted a family to worry about. what would you do? go away somewhere? leaving your family behind? not contact them for years on end and forget about them? fake a death? no. no. of course Loki wouldn't think of them. he only cared for you. he had never loved a family member of his own. or at least you thought he didn't.

 

"I remember you telling me about how afraid you were on the subject of death. especially yours." Loki said with a snarky tone. I understand where his heart is. but his mind should have known better.

 

"yes, and I still am, but I-"

"then take the apple." Loki pushed the apple closer to you with his right hand.

"Loki!"

you looked at him and gave a sigh.

"I have a family to look after. to help if they need me. and....a-a-and I'm just meant to give them up? how am I going to explain how I'm still young but they're not? at my sisters' funeral? my younger brothers?"

 

Loki gave an irritated sigh of his own.

 

"I just thought that it'd be a nice gift." Loki said moving to take the apple away. as annoyed as you were at his gift you found yourself holding the apple down. Loki saw your intent on not letting the gift go, and sat back down on his chair. he cupped his hands together and looked as though he was deep in thought. after a moment of silence Loki spoke up.

 

"it takes the apple four days to rot. today it is fine. tomorrow it will start, the day after that the signs will show. on the third day you can still eat it and by the fourth day you'll have to throw it away." said Loki guide-lining you. you nodded in response.

 

"I'll have to think about it." you said getting up. you put your gifts away upstairs leaving the apple in the living room on the living room table. afterwards you set to work on cooking the Christmas meal.

 

 

you had to warm the oven up first, while taking the defrosted chicken breast out of the fridge. you got the peas and sweet corn out, the golly-flower and Yorshire puds. you always stressed over the Christmas meal with your old housemate, since she was a Chef in her old job. now she worked for her boyfriend in some building. honestly you never really listened.

 

 

**********************

 

after the meal was ready, you and Loki sat at the table. you glanced at the apple from time to time. even though Loki had moved it to the coffee table.

 

"you don't have to have it. I just thought it'd settle your doubts on my feelings for you." Loki said finishing up his meal. the two of you ate at the same pace. which meant you were close to finishing off your meal too. Loki sat back wiped his mouth with a napkin. "your cooking is good. you never wanted to cook for me in fear it'd hate it." he smiled. you smiled with him. gift giving done, a Christmas roast done. all for another year.

 

 

Loki sat up to clean the dishes for you. but him having to do the dishes meant leaving you alone with the apple. you had only three days left before it rotted. should you take it? this situation reminded you of Snow White. although a little less dark. and this apple gave your lifespan an extension instead of killing you. but would it kill a part of you? knowing, having all the time in the world, would you change?

 

 

sleep did not come easily for you. while Loki fell asleep beside you, the apple downstairs ruled your mind. you felt like you could _feel_ its presence. of course you couldn't. you just knew it was there.....starting at you......tormenting you....really pissing you off....     then again. the tree did allow you to have the apple. maybe you were meant to have it.

 

 

*******************

 

 

boxing day. Christmas was a good day but was rather distracting with the gift Loki had given you. so on Boxing day you decided to get out of the house later at night. by doing so would allow you to look at the Christmas lights before they were taken down. although they would stay up for another few weeks it would still be nice. Loki spent the day reading the books you bought him, while you played a few video games you had received this year from your friends.

 

your parents had bought you a Sonic The Hedgehog chess set. you made a mental note for you and Loki to argue until he agreed to play with you.

 

Loki asked what Sonic The Hedgehog was. you told him about the Franchise and the story, and how his most resent game was awful. but you enjoyed the old games he used to star in. Adventure DX, Adventure 2 battle, Heroes was alright. Sonic three and Knuckles. good times of your childhood.

 

 

you won five out of ten. good score considering you felt a little rusty. after, you both left for the town. listening to the music in the car. classic rock songs, nothing more. you tried with all your strength to forget about the apple. hoping it wouldn't really be a huge part of your life if you didn't take it. maybe Loki would take it away after a while. though Lokis' words were stuck in your head.

 

' _today is fine but tomorrow it will start.'_

 

it will start to rot soon. no. it IS rotting. my time is running out. I can't be worrying about something and have a time limit on me.

 

 

*************

 

you and Loki passed the odd conversation to each other. talking about how you've spent these past few years together. how your first Christmas went, how your first date went. and how even after these seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, AND years you've still found a way to rarely kiss him. you smiled that comment and leaned up to kiss him. it was true though. you would peck him on the lips four or three times a month.

 

 

talking about keeping the magic alive.

 

but this time you stayed. it WAS boxing day. and with new years around the corner you would have to do it then too. you thought about having new years with Loki over at your families house.

 

"why did you get me the apple?" you found yourself saying.

 

Loki looked at you as though you'd just ask the stupidest question in the realm. "so you could live longer." he said with a certain tone.

"no, I meant what other reasons were there?"

"if you ever decide that you'd like to...become closer again I didn't want something like age taking you away from me." he said honestly.

you smiled at the thought.

 

"you've been really patient. thank you." you said.

 

 

"of course. there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

 

"really? kill yourself?"

"yes."

"kill your family?"

"..."

"aha!" you smiled. "it's alright. I know you care for me. and I you." you moved closer to him. allowing his arm to rest around your shoulders.

"I don't just care for you, I love you." he smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

"I love you, too."  

 

 

 

 


	4. car crash

when you awoke you were in pain. a beeping sound was all that filled your ears. a bright light was coming from in front of you. blurs were moving in your vision. blue and bits of brown and dark blond at the top. awful, awful feelings spread through you. you tried to moan but your throat was dry, and came out as a quiet whine. as your vision cleared after several attempts to open your eyes, you saw two nurses near you. one was looking at a clip-board and the other taking your blood.

 

you yelled as the needle was pushed roughly inside your arm.  you'd had nurses who'd been gentle with an injection, but she wasn't.

 

"OW! careful!" you yelled at her. she gave you a disappointed look. it was she who should be disappointed. causing a patient more pain. both nurses were large, the one that took your blood had short brown hair. the one reading the clip-board was less larger and had longish dark blond hair. she looked up and smiled at you.

 

when the nurse who took your blood left, the nurse with the clip-board  spoke to you: "sorry about her. she's a first-timer. they'll be a bruise there tomorrow."

 

more like today.

 

"it's good you've woken up today. you're in a benign condition. only a small head wound and a few cuts. your collar bone was slightly cracked, but it should heal in the time you'll spend here."

 oh, right. I was in a car crash.

 

but let's go to the start first.

 

 

**one days ago:**

 

it was boxing day. you and Loki went for a walk to the Cathedral in your city. you learn where you lived was a city and not a village, because of the cathedral and population. you thought you might spend the afternoon reading to Loki. he liked it when you read to him. you walked passed the reception. (like everybody else did). you gazed in wonder at the Marble statue of God.

 

you had told Loki what the people believed. you explained the story of Noahs' arch. Adam and Eve, Jesus Christ. Loki only nodded and smiled as you went on.

 

 

"my friend who moved out three years ago is moving into her new home. she wanted me to drop off a few of her things. they're in storage, so I'll be picking it up and dropping it off." you told Loki, holding onto his arm.

 

"and when is this?" Loki asked staring at the statue of Christ on his cross.

 

"in a day." you nodded, looking at the little map in your hands of the inside of the cathedral.

"hm." Loki nodded.

"yes, tomorrow she'll be getting the keys and filling out the papers, the day after that she'll be moving in and getting a parking permit. then I'll drop the stuff off the day after."

"can't she get it herself?" Loki asked miserably. Loki hated it when you did favours for others. because they never did any for you.

"no, I said I wanted to see the flat and I might give her and her boyfriend a welcome gift. maybe a cake. nor a muffin." you smiled.

 

you looked at Loki. watching his eyes as he stared at the cross holding the dying Jesus. "whether the story of this man is true or not , you humans are cruel to even your so-called-savers." the two of you walked on. you kissed his cheek from time to time. Loki saw your next one coming and moved his head. your lips met.

 

 

his kissed were sweet and warm. his arms kept you warm while yours only hooked around his neck. for a moment you'd completely forgotten about the Apple of Iddun. and how it was sitting on the table in your house. it was one of the reasons you'd left the house in the first place.

 

 

 

********************

 

you were driving in your car, on your way to the storage to pick up your friends items. you gave a sigh, letting out some steam. you and Loki had an argument again. about the bloody apple. he wanted you to have it so he'd have you by his side. you said it was selfish for him to want you to leave everything behind. he said your family will day sometime, and why should I suffer the same fate?

 

 

you said he'd be the same way if he was you, and his family was his mother. but he denied it. saying he'd follow you anywhere. pah! yeah right. the light was green on your side of the round about. some cars drove fast around these parts, that's why you hated coming to this area of your town - uh, city. you moved forward along with the rest of the cars behind you and next to you.

 

 

then you saw something move in the corner of your right eye. you glanced and saw a redJuke speeding toward you. you moved forward fast enough to avoid being hit completely by the Juke but ran into the car in front of you. then the Juke hit you. crashing into the back seats. almost taking then off. as the three of you tried to recover from the crash more cars collided. one hitting the other side of your car. the air bags had already deployed. it felt as though your lungs were being crushed by them. as if you already didn't have to annoying bags on your chest anyway.

 

 

 

then you passed out.

 

 

 

 

******************

 

 

 

**now.**

 

 

 

soon someone ran through the doors, no two. your old friend and her Boyfriend. what was his name, again?

 

"oh my god! are you okay?!" she said with tears in her eyes. "this is all my fault. if only I'd had done it myself." she said with the heel of her hand being pushed against her forehead. her boyfriend confronted her. "are you okay?" he asked.

"yes, I'm fine." you nodded and smiled. "I'm a little drowsy though." you added.

"is Loki with you?" you asked.

"who's Loki?"

oh right, she hadn't met him yet.

 

 

then he appeared. bursting through the doors. he ran toward you and held you tight. he was shaking. you smiled and held him in equal strength.

"love, are you alright?!" he asked looking into your eyes.

"yes, yes, I'm fine!" you complained. all it was, was just a little crash."

"a little?!" exclaimed your old Housemate. "how could it be a little? if you hadn't drove forward you'd be dead!"

"calm down, you're scaring the patients." hushed her Boyfriend.

"no, I will not be quiet! my friend almost died because of me!" she glared at him.

"no, it was the cars fault." he replied.

"then I want him sewed!" she yelled.

 

"alright!" said the Nurse finally having enough. "we have patients here who need their rest, please wait outside. you...sir," she said gesturing to Loki. "may stay."

you watched as you old Housemate was sheep-dogged out of the room by the Nurse and her Boyfriend. you smiled at Loki and leaned forward. he thought you were about to kiss him, so he pouted his lips, but you leaned to his ear and whispered:

 

 

 _"get me the Apple."_ you smiled and Loki asked a question with his eyes. ' _are you sure?'_ you answered with a nod.

 

 

 

*************

 

 

after you listened to your old friend talk about sewing the person who caused this to you, while sharing looks of embarrassment with her boyfriend, she left. you waited for Loki to return to the Hospital with the Golden apple. and he did. he waited until the Nurses weren't looking before slipping the Apple out of his bag and into your hands.

 

 

"are you sure?" he asked the same question he asked with his eyes a while ago before he left. you nodded again.

 

"I almost died, and left you behind. I saw the things I loved most flash before my eyes when the car crashed. I saw: mum, dad, my brother and sister, and you. but I saw you suffer the most. all those years left alone. I couldn't take it. and I can't take it." you said shaking your head and bringing the Golden Apple to your mouth. 

 

 

"I will remain at your side."

 

 

and you took a bite.

 

 

 

******************

 

 

you spent new year at a party with Loki. hugging him and kissing him.

 

"mmmm, I might treat you tonight. for being such a good boy these past four years." you said in hi ear. he chuckled and held you tighter. biting into your neck. you laughed and started to dance with him on the light-up dance floor along with a few other people.

 

 

"okay, countdown everybody!" yelled a guy standing on a table to attract every bodies attention.

 

"10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everybody said at once. you kissed Loki like many other couples did.

 

 

 

"and now you can spend many New Years at my side." he said.

**Author's Note:**

> one of these days I'm not going to do a happy ending. :b thank you for the Kudos and the likes.


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